Free voicemail greetings

Great!!!!

Love the message

This is an oldie but definitely a classic. I work as a mental health professional and I have it on my cell phone. I love it. Still makes me laugh and if you are offended by it. I’ll say this.. You really need to go get a sense of humor! Life is short and nobody wants to deal with a stick in the mud who whines and complains about everything. This world has become so sensitive and it’s ridiculous! I think the majority of people feel it’s really funny and see the humor and enjoy laughing in life. So enjoy your life and be happy!

Does this go to everyone or just the spam callers?

I like this one

Nice one

Any sexy daddies plz serious only 7153301294

Any sexy daddies plz serious only 7153301294

Absolutely hysterical! love this one.

Nice

https://mixlr.com/itsmecheech

I absol6iI absolutely love it!

I used this for my psych. She LOVES it!!!!

I had a police officer ask me did I know my phone number was going to a mental health center. I forgot I had this for my answering machine. LOL, she told me to call my service provider and try to get this fixed.

To Irishvixen, concerning being around since the dark ages posted in April 2016. I have been around since the dark ages, I am 71 years old and have never heard this before today. I love it. 26May2018

Lol this is great sending to my daughter cause this is her sense of HUMER

Pressing one repeatedly....still

Really hilarious but insane. Lol weak

Ha ha ha! Great!

Too long for Verizon. After the greeting it just disconnects. Adds insult to injury.

That's a good one! Nothing wrong with a little crazy

@Irishvixen, and @upstander, come on! This is a classic! One of my all time favourites! And if you don't like it, fine - everyone is entitled to their own opinion. But instead of putting more negativity into the world, perhaps your time would be better spent writing reviews on things you actually DO enjoy. The world is bad enough as it is. Why add to the disparity with unnecessary and unhelpful reviews like yours. Everyone has the right to their opinion. That does not mean, however, that one should always choose to voice it. Ask yourself this next time you feel like writing a bad review , "Is this helpful?" If your comment or review serves no purpose other than to express how much you hated it, or how 'dumb' people are for liking it, then I would recommend that you save the 4-5 minutes it would have taken you to share your unhelpful thoughts, and do, or see, or listen to something you actually DO like. Wouldn't it be nice to not see hatred and negativity everywhere we looked? Make the world a better place, a kinder place, one post at a time.

Wow..this has been around since the dark ages. They can't come up with anything new and more funny? Sad

Lmao the beast one

Looks like a lot of nutters actually listened to this and applied it to their phones. What a bunch of losers

I love it & it throws ALL OF MY CALLER'S FOR A LOOP! THEY THINK THEY HAVE A WRONG # OR THAT MY # HAS BEEN CHANGED! I CAN SEE ALL OF MY "HANG UP CALLER'S" & I CALL THEM BACK, WELL, NOT EVERYONE LOL LOL BUT, THIS IS SUCH A REALLY FUNNY ONE! I HAVE A LOT OF FUN USING THIS OUTGOING MESSAGE! IT'S AWESOME! :)

Mental health hotline to work now

Mental health hot line

" This Greeting is great! Thanks! Good Job "

" Top Greeting That best! "

Good.Job in that greetings ok

Great i enjoyed listening to the recording and im going to download it so my friends can get a free laugh from me.

I fell out of my chair laughing, roflol

Love it

Love it. So funny.

who cares?

Dubstuff, Dyslexia isn't reading things backwards, it's having a hard time distinguishing the difference between numbers and letters that look alike. like 6's and 9's, or q's and p's, or d's and b's. Yes it occasionally makes them read things backwards but it usually just scrambles the letters.

Dubstuff are u for real? 69 69 69 Is hilarious for dyslexia. No one is uptight here but u. A dyslexic would have a hard time distinguishing between a 6 and a 9. Umm, duh.

Ok. Why in the world would the numbers to press for dyslexic be '696969'? Makes no sense. In the REAL version of this its for nymphos. Dyslexia means you dear sdrawkcab, read backwards for the slow people out there. Did the person who recorded this really not know what dyslexia is? Or are they so embarrassed by sexual things that they cant say nympho? Massive fail.

Omg great

you know mental health professionals listen to this and laugh.

Too funny..I love it..LOL

This is not me or wait is it??

Love it. I know a few of my family members who could have this tone assigned to them

Pretty cool

Mohamed majeed

This is wayyyyyyy to funny I luv it

Lmao....if someone holds on, they deserve it

I love this. I have soooo many contacts l am going to use this on.

Luv this but don't think too many people will have the patients to listen to the whole message! Well at least if they already heard it! Anyway I absolutely think this is histerical!!!

hahahahahahahaahahahahahhahahahaha!!!!!!

That's f'n hilarious!!

This is ridiculously funny!

woooooooooww.... funny.

This is good I love it my friends will get a kick out of it

I Love it and have to set it for just a few of my friends. LMAOROTF

Love it...just awesome

I like it!

I love this greeting. I do not get as many voice mails anymore from unwanted people. Woohoo.

Awesome. Makes my day

THIS IS SO FUNNY NUMBER 1 FOR PHONES

Funnnnny, bit a wee bit too long!

Perfect!! So funny, very dry. I love it!

To long i feel sorry for the listener

Lmao! I fell out lol at this one. !

Laughed so much my balls hurt!!

Laughed so much my balls hurt!!

KEWL!

Cool!

lol!!

verry funny

Damn I can only have 30 sec greetings on my phone.

Literally had me laughing out loud! Setting it as my default.

AND IT'S HOWZAT!

Stellar! Thanks

now this shi is very funny!!

Great one I love it

This is one of the best I have heard, being that I work in the mental field many days this is how you feel..lol

This is one of the best I have heard, being that I work in the mental field many days this is how you feel..lol

I found this to be most enjoyable, man what a riot (smile)

I accidently rated it. I bought it cause I thought it was awesome. but I accidently rated it a 1 but my computer froze and I did'nt get to finish selecting the stars.

ha hga lmao this is the best

This is the best! Love love love it! A bit long but its so funny the length is not a problem. LMAO

Excellent! I'm setting this for everyone!

ha love this one! Have it set for my best friend because she thinks it's hilarious and will call just to hear it.

My friend is gonna love this! LMAO

jajajaja i think i might use this one :P

i don't get it it dum

Exactly what I need for certain people in my life. Thank you!!

Perfect.

this is hilarious, love it the best

PERFECT!!!!! LOVE IT!

I know the perfect person for this greeting! LMAO!!!!

that is just priceless!

this is soooooooooo funnnnnnnny!!!!!!!!!

THAT IS f**K*NG GREAT!

This would be great if it didn't force someone to wait for 40 something seconds... Great to use on someone you don't really like at all. Or possibly hate...

SO FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

great, all my contacts are at least one of these...................

I am laughing my Azz off

this is soooooooooo funny!!

Toooo Funny!!!

made my eyes water!!! lmao

this one is funny and cool thanks i needed that laugh

i love it

I love this! I wish there were more like it.

funny but long. I love it

STUPENDOUS, I LOVE, LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS ONE

Oh my word! I can't stop giggling. My therapist is almost always amused by my VM greetings, but she is really going to love this one! Thank-you so much.

I use this on my fathers number, and he always gets a kick out of it. He'll call and tell me to hang up so his buddies can listen, i have a bunch of saved voice mails of him and others laughing at it. Makes his day, thanks!

I use this on my fathers number, and he always gets a kick out of it. He'll call and tell me to hang up so his buddies can listen, i have a bunch of saved voice mails of him and others laughing at it. Makes his day, thanks!

EXCELLENT 5 STARS!!!!! I LOVE IT!!!!

lol This isn't a good one for people who annoy you. They will keep calling back to listen to it again. They will have their friends call you to listen to it. If THEY annoy you, their friends will probably annoy you even more. It's a great message. People will probably start calling in the middle of the night hoping you don't answer the phone so they can hear it again and again. lol I love this one!

What if I fall under all catagories? God, I love it.

lmfao.

AWESOME!!!! AWESOME!! 5 STARS!!

omg....this is freaking hilarious...

this is fucking awesome,

Check out the messages from jonprivate

great!

i love this and set it ofr some one i know will love it!!! Like me

exxxxelent

I love it...he sounds so serious....ROFLMBO!

my brother put this one as mine i lol every time

This is a duplicate of id 2172

This is a classic!

Great but very long for a greating.

What a riot!!! Excellent!!!

too damn perfect!!! 6969696969696969696

This is very funny and long. However, I think that I might try it. Because it is so long, people who annoy you will probably get annoyed by it and hang up. Hopefully, anyway.

this is awesome!

this is awesome!

o.m.g. this is soooo funny. wow

crazy funny.lol

It's long but it is funny XD

yeah its wayy to fuckin long

I love it!!!! LOL LOL

awesome, simply awesome

i love it halarilous

thats great! a little long though

great but too long

that one was great

I have a friend who is a social worker, I think I will attach this one to here number

BEST ONE in my opinion that is.

theres a number and extension you can call to hear the same thing, but i dont remember it

Funny but too long

huahaha.. SO freakin funny. :D

I LOVE IT!

Classic!

this is great

hilarilous

A classic :-) http://www.ahajokes.com/p016.html

funny